I've decided
Sunday, December 17, 2006

Project C at RP yesterday. Learn about html for blogging, photo editting and flash. I know how to do flash already ok. Ok la. Only the basics but that's a stepping stone ok.

Spent post-Project C at Natra's place. Kak Mariah dropped us off. She drove her bro's BMW. And Kak Mariah, you look good driving a BMW. Maybe can ask Abg Fad to give that as one of your hantaran-s. Heh.

Managed to pass Fadzli his dinner because he was at the petrol station near Natra's place. But only met him for a few minutes aje because he's working. =(

Sat by the pool side with Natra and eating pizza. We talked bout stuff. Some things which I don't think should be just shared with just anybody. We talked about our friends, or so we thought. About how some people can be all nice and friendly with us but once our backs are turned, there she'll go bitching about us to other people, in particular to people whom we thought should know better than to listen to those things.

I told Natra about the email I received the morning before I went off for camp. It was from somebody and it was sent to just 2 people, myself and another friend. Clearly the email was about the both of us, of course. And what was written in the email, well, both of us were quite hurt. It was written in the email that the sender hopes that we accept whatever was said with an open mind. Maybe we didn't.

We did an exchanging of views with each other about each other. And we came to a conclusion that, well, it's pretty obvious that someone "complained" about us to the sender of the email. And we assumed someone, but we chose not to make it obvious that we assumed this someone to "complain" to the sender of the email.

What I told this friend of mine is that, as long as both of us knows that we are doing work and as long as our conscience is clear, then we shouldn't be bothered about it.

Maybe in the eyes of the people we worked with, we are not doing work. But what they fail to notice is that both of us are doing work without making a big hoo-haa out of it. I personally don't see the reason to why must I tell everybody that I am doing this or doing that. I personally don't see the reason why to why I have to do work only when a certain somebody is around and once that certain someone is not around, I will do nothing. Seriously, I don't.

I had a major argument with Fadzli after camp. He was already dear enough to help out on the last day of the camp. He was already nice enough to understand the fact that I have to go back to the office. He was understanding enough during pre-camp, the only time I spent with him was when he came to the office. We don't even have personal time for ourselves. The only time when we are alone is when he send me back home after work. But does that count?

I am not saying these just because Fadzli's my boyfriend and because I love him. Even Mac, of all people, told me off, saying, "kau asyik keje je, takde personal time dgn Fadzli". I'd have to admit that I am not really close to Mac, that's pretty obvious but what he said actually made sense.

We were basically shouting, well, he was basically shouting, not at me but at the situation. I tried my hardest to try and cool him down. He even told me to choose which is of more importance, him or them.

I guess my choice is pretty clear. I don't have to state it here. The email helped out in a way or another in my decision making.

And when I told someone this, she said, "You've been saying this dah lama but you stil belum leave". Yeah, maybe all of them wanted me to leave. The thing is, I hold P2R & YIA+ close to my heart. I even get pissed when P2R & YIA+ is seen as something that is insignificant and I remember saying that we will have to work harder to prove them wrong, that P2R & YIA+ is of the same importance.

I guess its just no use now, is it?

*Nothing is ever enough, isn't it?*

On a different note altogether...

I am sick today. Woke up this morning with runny nose, cough and a sore throat. Bummer. I hate it when I am sick. Really. =(

Meeting Belinda today. 3 more hours and I am supposed to meet her at Harbour Front MRT. 3 more hours and I am still on my bed, in front of Mr. Lappie. 3 more hours and I've yet to decide what to wear. 3 more hours and I am still not ready.

*Aiyoh...*

12:04

...i can't wait a moment more...
...tell me quando quando quando...

ThiraMisU Y PhudzLee