Happy Anniversary!
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Would like to wish my
Sayang a happy anniversary.
Though I'd have to admit, it's
real sucky.
I
thought I
would be able to talk to him. But he told me otherwise. He said he wants to sleep. How's that? The first anniversary and he wants to sleep.
*
Sheesh...*
I miss the times
before we got attached. How he would call me and we'd spend
God knows how many hours on the phone talking crap.
It
hurts when I think about it. It just shows that he changed. But why?
Those thoughts just keeps on playing in my mind. Maybe the "
curse" that my ex bestowed upon us will come true.
Maybe. I wouldn't know.
Am I being a paranoid with all the doubts I have towards him? Am I just being too sensitive? Too emotional? Too scared....?
Maybe. Maybe
not.
Pardon me for saying this but if he carries on being like this, I would easily change back to my old ways. I changed myself because of him. I am not the same person as how you knew me. Those who
really knows me would know how I was
before his existence in my life. The one guy who has a place in my heart, besides my
Dad, my
brother and
Max, and that person is
him.
I
understand that he's tired and stuff. But how is 5 to 10 minutes of talking to me will make any difference. It's already bad enough that I only get to see him
once a week. Soon enough, maybe, he won't be able to meet me once a week at all.
It
hurts.
ALOT. But does he know? Did he ever bothers to find out at all? He assumes that I am fine. He assumes that I am ok. Why? Because he
NEVER asks!!!
What is my
fucking problem? Am I asking
too much from my boyfriend? All I am asking for is a little more attention. Am I asking for alot of things?
Am I?
I just wish he
wouldn't take me for granted. I just wish he'd
never take me for granted.
That's all...
ps: Sayang, look over at my feeling section over on the right side. That is how I feel like nowadays with you...
